Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts

Wallbanger by Alice Clayton

Wallbanger by Alice Clayton


4.1  ·  Rating details ·  147,417 Ratings  ·  12,004 Reviews
Download or read online for free Wallbanger by Alice Clayton
Wallbanger by Alice Clayton
The first night after Caroline moves into her fantastic new San Francisco apartment, she realizes she's gaining an intimate knowledge of her new neighbor's nocturnal adventures. Thanks to paper-thin walls and the guy's athletic prowess, she can hear not just his bed banging against the wall but the ecstatic response of what seems (as loud night after loud night goes by) like an endless parade of women. And since Caroline is currently on a self-imposed dating hiatus, and her neighbor is clearly lethally attractive to women, she finds her fantasies keep her awake even longer than the noise. So when the wallbanging threatens to literally bounce her out of bed, Caroline, clad in sexual frustration and a pink baby-doll nightie, confronts Simon Parker, her heard-but-never-seen neighbor. The tension between them is as thick as the walls are thin, and the results just as mixed. Suddenly, Caroline is finding she may have discovered a whole new definition of neighborly...

In a delicious mix of silly and steamy, Alice Clayton dishes out a hot and hilarious tale of exasperation at first sight...

“He was wooing me. And I was letting him woo. I wanted the woo. I deserved the woo. I needed the wow that would surely follow the woo, but for now, the woo? It was whoa.”

“Fucking Wallbanger,” I hissed, frozed on the spot.
His grin slid off as well as he played place-the-face for a moment. “Fucking Pink Nightie Girl.”

“You done with work?
Yep, at home waiting for you.
Now that's a nice visual...
Prepare yourself, I'm taking bread out of the oven.
Don't tease me woman...zucchini?
Cranberry orange. Mmmm...
No woman has ever done breakfast bread foreplay the way you do.
Ha! When you coming?
Can't. Drive. Straight.
Can we have one conversation when you're not twelve?
Sorry, I'll be there in 30
Perfect, that will give me time to frost my buns.
Pardon me?
Oh, didn't I tell you? I also made cinnamon rolls.
Be there in 25.”





Reviews


5 HUGE STARS!!!!

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS BOOK!!
EVERYONE HAS TO READ IT!!!

This book was brilliant!!
Pure gold!
I’m in love with Simon.
Completely, utterly in love.
My cheeks ache from laughing.
My heart is happy.
Did I mention I love this book?

This book was pure, decadent, lighthearted, un-put-downable, FUN!! A well-written, perfect blend of all things happy, romantic, sweet, funny (hilarious, really), melty, swoony, witty, steamy, with just enough tender, deeper moments to make my heart squeeze. I fell in love with everything – the characters, the writing, the story… and Clive. The most awesome cat ever to grace the pages of a novel.

It was just one winning line after another. I swear to freaking God, more than half my book is highlighted. No joke!!

The banter! The chemistry! The flirting! The texts!!!! *melt* The nooking! The wooing! … this book is just loaded with win!

I read most of it with a big stupid grin plastered on my face and pretty much just alternated between squeeing, squealing, giggling, snorting, crying, shaking and cackling with laughter.

What’s this book about though? Now, usually, I write my own descriptions, but I love the official blurb too much so here it is:

Caroline Reynolds has a fantastic new apartment in San Francisco, a KitchenAid mixer, and no O (and we’re not talking Oprah here, folks). She has a flourishing design career, an office overlooking the bay, a killer zucchini bread recipe, and no O. She has Clive (the best cat ever), great friends, a great rack, and no O.

Adding insult to O-less, since her move, she has an oversexed neighbor with the loudest late-night wallbanging she’s ever heard. Each moan, spank, and–was that a meow?–punctuates the fact that not only is she losing sleep, she still has, yep, you guessed it, no O.

Enter Simon Parker. (No, really, Simon, please enter.) When the wallbanging threatens to literally bounce her out of bed, Caroline, clad in sexual frustration and a pink baby-doll nightie, confronts her heard-but-never-seen neighbor. Their late-night hallway encounter has, well, mixed results. Ahem. With walls this thin, the tension’s gonna be thick…

Simon “Wallbanger” Parker. Cocky, charming, sexy as all hell, confident… and once we got to know him better, sweep-you-off-your-feet swoony. I adored him, its that simple. He has made me list of top book boyfriends ever! I loved that his character had depth. At first you kind of wondered if he was just a bit of a manwhore but I loved that there was a whole background to him. And its hard not to love a man who is obsessed with baked goods.

“You want me to cut you a piece — okay, or you could just do that.” I frowned as he took a giant bite out of the end.
“Thif if mine, righ?” he asked, spraying crumbs.
“How do you function in normal society?” I asked shaking my head as he took another monster bite.

I loved Caroline too. She was sweet yet feisty and refreshingly direct about everything. Brain, Heart, Nerves, Backbone, and of course, O were brilliant additions to the story!

I loved how casually Simon and Caroline’s relationship developed. They were seriously one of the sweetest couples ever but there was no falling into bed on first sight for them.

“Now, you listen, mister.” I said, trying for a more adult tone. “I’m not going to spend every night listening to you try to crash your girl’s head through my wall with the force of your dick alone! No way, buddy.”

They went from cockblocker/wallbanger to truce status to friends to lovers. The whole process just warmed my heart. And throw in a healthy dollop of sexual tension and innuendos out the wazoo and you pretty much have a recipe for awesome.

“I like that we’re taking things slow. You give good woo,” I whispered.

I never once felt any urges to throttle a character, or yell at them.. no eye rolling. Nothing. I was just one purely satisfied reader … Oh, and “Simon goes commando. God bless America.”

Flaily Pink Nightie Girl and Mr Wallbanger Snorey Pants will always have a special place in my heart <3

Guys, READ THIS BOOK!!!!!
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BANG BANG BANG!


Oh God............


BANG BANG BANG!!


Oh God................


BANG BANG BANG!!!


OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOOOOOODDDD!!!!!!!

THE WALLS ARE SHAKING, PICTURES ARE FALLING DOWN!!!! RUN FOR COVER PEOPLE!!! GRAB YOUR FAVOURITE BOOK, SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR DRESS AND HIDE UNDER THE TABLE!! I THINK WE'RE HAVING AN EARTHQUAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


BUT Wait A Sec...........Not an earthquake...........nope, definitely not an earthquake.......One, only one wall is shaking.....LIKE SOMEONE'S BANGING ON IT!!!!

Let's take a closer look, Shall we?

“OH, GOD.”

Thump.

“Oh, God.”

Thump thump.

What the…

“Oh, God, that’s so good!”

“Mmmm…Yeah, baby. Right there. Just like that…Don’t stop, don’t stop!”

OH! OH! OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Mystery solved, readers!


Meet NOT The Wallbanger.....
BUT THE WALLBANGER!!!!!!!!!!!
 Name : Simon Wallbanger Parker

Age : 28 years

Occupation : Freelance photographer

Interests : Pleasing the ladies by doing it in a rattling-the headboard-shaking-the-wall-making-a-woman-meow-and-giggle style with maybe some spanking thrown in!!! He can definitely bang it home, ladies!!!
Meet 'O'. This Orgasm (O) is the....

Property of: Caroline Pink Nightie Girl Reynolds, a 26 year old interior designer.

Missing since: Last Six Months

Culprit: Cory Weinstein. The machine-gun fucker who’d hijacked the O

Description of the event by the victim: This was the worst kind of sex. This was machine-gun style: fast, fast, fast. This was thirty seconds on the tits, sixty seconds on something that was about an inch above where he should have been, and then in. And out. And in. And out. And in. And out.

But at least it was over quick, right? Hell, no. This horribleness went on for months. Well, no. But for almost thirty minutes. Of in. And out. And in. And out. My poor hoohah felt like it had been sandblasted.
Remedies Tried: Jason Bourne, Matt Damon, George Clooney.....

ALL OF THEM HAVE FAILED!!!!!!

WHAT TO DO NOW??????????????

Let's look for someone closer to home........
Simon Wallbanger meet Caroline. Caroline meet Simon Wallbanger!!!!


Problem solved!!!! YAYYY!!


But, NO WAIT, WHAT'S THIS?


“Why are you such a manwhoring asshole?” I asked.

“Why are you such a cockblocking priss?” he asked
NOOOOOOOOOO...........NOW, HOW WILL WE EVER FIND....
Oh no.........I'm not crying.......Alright, yes I am......but how can I not when I'm laughing so hard!!!

[image error]


So, readers....why don't you continue the search while I LA-U-GH MY HE-AD O-F-F!!!!!
WARNING: 1)Beware of one-night stands that could make your 'O' go on a vacation for a long time or even forever. :0

2)Be aware of the walls you build
and what could be on the other side

3) Clive, the cat too is trying to find his 'one and only' Purina ever since he heard the 'meow'ing through the walls and fell in love or maybe lust(so what if he's neutered? He's allowed to have feelings!!)!!......He is now following in the footsteps of the Wallbanger!!!! So, beware, he's one hissy and horny ball of lust and fur!!

Clive: I allowed myself to dream. Of her. The one that got away...........
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Chapter 1
So, what do you think about me?
Well you weren't short at all :D
Well yeah I'm pretty long... and thick...
Just about average I'd say
Pfttt you are average missy! Didn't you like all the humor?
Yeah it was good I guess, the scene with Dr. Ross was the best :D
Ohhhh yes, makes me think of dirty things, that man. I wish I had my O back :(
Yes, I wish it too! Your O brought more frustration to me than it did to you!
Whatcha sayin'? You didn't like all the sexual frustration? How is that possible?
How is that possible indeed -.-
And what about my story? What did you think of that?
Story? What story? Book, all you talked about was the lack of orgasms, flirtation, sexual frustration, sex... I may have forgotten a sexual thing or two that were mentioned :P
Mmmmmmm sexxxxxx. Me wants the big O :(
Hello book! Focus! I am talking to you!
Talking? Talking about sex? Mmmmmm sexxxxxx. Me wants the big O :(
I am facepalming here! Can you try to have a nice conversation without thinking of sex?
Me? Thinking about sex? Mmmmmmm sexxxxxx. Me wants the big O :(
Sigh. I give up.
Did you just write "sigh"???
Well that's a hell of a time to start noticing!! :P
Chapter 2
Blacky, Simon, Caroline, The Cat, The Book and The Friends are on a road trip, traveling in the car together:


Blacky
OMG I have to endure several hours in the car with Mr. Horny and Ms. Hornier and the CatfromHell. Ughhh. The friends are interesting though, but even they think of nothing but sex. I see Simon is looking at Caroline in a smouldering way. His eyes don't stop twinkling for goodness sake!

Simon
Why am I thinking about Caroline all the time? Hm must mean I want to wallbang her too. Damn that will be tough cause she can't stop arguing with me. Why does she hate me so much? Oh yeah, I bang girls like crazy. Mmmmmmmm. Banging... Walls... Why doesn't this car have walls?????

Caroline
Simon keeps touching the inside of the car, I don't think he likes it. He does like f*cking girls through the wall though. I want to be f*cked through a wall :( Wait, no! I don't! I hate Simon! But he's so pretty, my lower Caroline says... I don't care! He's a jerk! But I keep flirting with him all the time, my lower Caroline says... So what! I can flirt and do whatever I like 'cause I don't have my O anymore. Oh O how I miss you :(((

The CatfromHell
They don't have a clue *evil laugh*. I will make their lives misarable *evil laugh*. The girl loves me, but I don't plan to let her have her O back with the arrogant man *evil laugh*. I will spoil all their plans eventually *evil laugh*. My throat hurts from all the evil laughing *coughs*

Simon
Did that cat just evil laughed at me???? I must be hearing things. Oh well back to thinking about sex. And Caroline. Damn, I'm hard. Will she stop looking at me with those hungry eyes? Damn, I'm even harder now. Must. Squirm. In. My. Seat!

Caroline
Simon keeps squirming all the time. What is his problem??? He's got to have a big hard-on just for me. Too bad I can't give it to him cause he's a jerk and I don't have my O back. But I feel some suspicious fluttering, my lower Caroline says... YAY! I'm gonna jump him as soon as I can! Without actually having sex with him! Ahhhh I just love that sexual frustration...

The Friends
They are all so stupid ahahahaha we have found our someones to have sex with ahahahahaha we don't suffer any sexual frustration ahahahahaha

Blacky
OMG these people are driving me crazy! Simon is trying to hide his hard-on, Caroline is talking to her belly, the cat is making some funny evil noises, and the friends are probably high or something, they can't stop laughing. Jeez :((( Is anything going to happen here that doesn't have anything to do with sex or having sex or the lack of sex???
Guess not :(

The Book
I am so happy :D Everyone is horny and thinking about sex! So awesome! I am never going to let anyone do it ever again! Well, maybe The Friends will. But man oh man, there's nothing better than blue balls and frustration! Just love it! Oh I have to think of a few scenes (well make it dozen at least), where they'll want to have sex but couldn't do it for some reason! Oh yes! I think I will form an alliance with The CatfromHell. Awesome!
Chapter 3
Oh! Mmmmm.. Yes, more to the left! Harder! Yesssssss... Oh yes, that's soooo gooood! Harder, yes, there! Push it! Ohhhhhhhhh I just love going to the masseur! You'd THINK I was doing something naughty. But no.
Lots of these in the book too :DDD
Anyway let me tell you what I thought about it in general.
No plot whatsoever.
Too much sexual frustration.
Humor was OK, but would be better if there was just a bit less of it, you know, sometimes too much of a good thing can make you sick :D
I don't really mind the fact that they had to wait practically for the (view spoiler) Read lots of books like that, didn't mind it. In this case, all the sex talk and sex thought, and lack of orgasm talk, and lack of orgasm thought, and flirting all the freaking time, and getting it on a few times, just to stop at the good part... No. A bit f*cking no for me. Every damn chapter was about the things I said above, nothing else. It may be good to read this in small doses, but a whole book? No. Thanks. Sorry.
Chapter 4
What I liked:

My favorite scene from the whole book is when they watched the Exorcist, and they slept together in her bed. Very very lovely, and I think the only scene that was nice without some sexual overtones. Maybe there were a few, but nothing that stood out. Perfect scene in my opinion :)
When they went to Spain :) Even though when I read that they'll go through all the bases before the deed... I lost a few million neurons from that, my brain kinda had a stroke or something cause I wanted to burn the damn book if only I had the paperback. Lucky for me I have an e-book reader so I felt too sorry to smash it to bits. But I was tempted!!!!
Anyway, the ending of Spain was great, very realistic and I'm glad the author did it that way!
The style of writing was VERY good, can't say anything about that, I just wish the humor and sex-everything was a little toned down, and if there was a story thrown in. But oh well, can't have everything, right??
Chapter 5
Text messages between The Book and Blacky

So you didn't like me very much then? :((
I did like you, you poor sex-obsessed thing! But I guess I wanted a bit more from you...
Blacky, you just have lousy taste in books, admit it! I am awesome!
Hey, won't argue with you there :D You might be awesome, but to someone else.
And I sure am! Look at all the other great reviews I have :P
I am! I did! And I hope my review won't turn anyone from the book, it isn't my fault my brain couldn't cope with it :((
Nice of you to admit your deranged brain Blacky! I knew there must have been something seriously wrong with you if you didn't like me! Phew! Glad to know now eheheheheh
Hey just don't spread it around OK?!
No problemo, my Blacky :D I will just continue my sexless scheming for other people! Oh yeah!
***********************************************************************************
I was an addict craving her dose.I was lost in a dull world full of mundane stuff for so long I almost became a mundane myself.After a month of abstinence from reading and severe book deprivation,after long days and bookless nights,the time came to return where I belong.
And I had to celebrate!I wanted something light.I wanted saucy and funny and Wallbanger promised to deliver them all.And oh boy,it did!But it also delivered sweet,and fluffy,and dreamy and a new book boyfriend that reduced me into a puddle of goo.It's official people,I'm in love!Again!
     “Fucking Wallbanger,” I hissed, frozed on the spot.
    His grin slid off as well as he played place-the-face for a moment. “Fucking Pink Nightie Girl.”


Caroline has a wonderful job and wonderful friends and a wonderful new apartment and a wonderful cat and her life would be-guess what-wonderful if it wasn't for two things:her missing O and her neighbor's loud midnight activities.

    “The girl next door was meowing. What in the world was my neighbor packing to make that happen?”


What sucks though is that the aforementioned annoying but gifted neighbor is super hot.Sahara hot.And that Caroline is forced to play nice with Simon despite wanting to bang his head on the banging wall but at the same time she wants him to bang her against the god-banging wall.See the problem here?

    “You gonna bang my walls, Simon?” I laughed.
    “You have no idea,” he promised.”


The result?Tension,innuendos,sexual frustration,banters,tension,laugh-out-loud moments,tension and did I mention tension?
Oh,and a really horny cat!
Alice Clayton's writing is freaking hilarious,I can't remember the last time I laughed this hard!I had permanently a huge grin plastered on my face and I hosted a butterfly party in my stomach and that wasn't the work of Caroline and Simon's off-the-charts chemistry alone!The way their feelings developed and unfolded was really heartwarming and sweet,a slowly burning process that made Wallbanger a really romantic book!They cooked together,they watched movies together,they shared their secrets and hopes and then they gave in to their animal attraction.I must admit I never expected a guy named Simon to be this sexy!Oh how I wish I had a wallbanging neighbor but alas!,the closest house is my late grandfather's house.If I hear those walls banging,it will be the beginning of a Supernatural episode and not a great romance.Unless Sam Winchester pops up and rescues me.That would be nice.
My point is,if you want to laugh and swoon and escape stupid reality,this is the book for you!Plus,you're going to meet a very interesting cat...
Source: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/15858248-wallbanger

Al Franken, Giant of the Senate by Al Franken

Al Franken, Giant of the Senate - Al Franken


4.46  ·  Rating details ·  11,067 Ratings  ·  1,926 Reviews
Al Franken, Giant of the Senate by Al Franken download or read it online for free here
Al Franken, Giant of the Senate
by Al Franken
From Senator Al Franken - #1 bestselling author and beloved SNL alum - comes the story of an award-winning comedian who decided to run for office and then discovered why award-winning comedians tend not to do that.This is a book about an unlikely campaign that had an even more improbable ending: the closest outcome in history and an unprecedented eight-month recount saga, which is pretty funny in retrospect.
It's a book about what happens when the nation's foremost progressive satirist gets a chance to serve in the United States Senate and, defying the low expectations of the pundit class, actually turns out to be good at it.
It's a book about our deeply polarized, frequently depressing, occasionally inspiring political culture, written from inside the belly of the beast.
In this candid personal memoir, the honorable gentleman from Minnesota takes his army of loyal fans along with him from Saturday Night Live to the campaign trail, inside the halls of Congress, and behind the scenes of some of the most dramatic and/or hilarious moments of his new career in politics.

Has Al Franken become a true Giant of the Senate? Franken asks readers to decide for themselves.





Reviews


I would almost consider moving to Minnesota in order for Al Franken to be my senator.
*************************************************************************************
At last, here is a book which answers the burning question: why is Al Franken not funny anymore?

The short answer, of course: he’s a senator, and senators aren’t supposed to be funny. The long answer—the central idea of this thoughtful (and funny) autobiographical narrative—is that he’s still very funny, very funny indeed, but, for most of the last ten years, has tried his very best not to be. His fellow Minnesotans, like most regular Americans, want elected officials who keep their heads down and work hard, not needy jokesters who keeping calling attention to themselves. And Franken—who is just as serious about being a senator as he once was about being a creator of comedy—has labored for a decade to be a workhorse not a showhorse, doing whatever he can to make life better for the people of his home state.

Franken puts it better himself: “[this book is] the story of how, after spending a lifetime learning how to be funny, I learned how not to be funny.”

But the book is, of course, about other things too: his mentor Paul Wellstone, what a political campaign is like, the policy issues (health care, gun control, campaign financing) Franken cares deeply about, his incremental legislative victories, how the senate changes your sense of how Washington works, and how “you must work hard to make sure that it doesn’t change who you are.”

I finished this book in the days following the congressional baseball shooting, and I was heartened to read of Al’s friendships with Republican senators: writing country songs with Orrin Hatch, listening to “Bob and Ray” tapes with Pat Roberts, trading amiable quips with Jeff Sessions (Jeff’s wife Mary—friends with Al’s wife Franni—knitted Al’s grandson Joe his favorite baby-blanket.) In fact, Al seems to have good things to say about most of his Republican colleagues. (Except for Senator Ted Cruz. One must have standards, of course.)

The best thing about this book, at least for me, is that Franken, after all these years, has finally become comfortable enough with himself to be both funny and serious at the same time. He can follow an exposition of public policy with a devastating witticism (or a dumb joke) and both seem equally appropriate expressions of a complex, interesting man. Franken takes pleasure in publicly uniting the comedian and the senator, and his obvious pleasure in this process makes the book more serious—and much funnier too.
***********************************************************************************
Al Franken: Giant of the Senate is a 2017 Twelve publication.

It’s always a slippery slope when reviewing a non-fiction politically based book. However, in the states, the current political polarization makes it even more of a challenge.

But, never fear, this review will not be a political commentary. Franken's views fall within party lines, and if you are a democrat you will agree with him on most issues, and if not, you do know going in what his values are and what his political opinions will be, so I won't delve into those here.

‘They tell you in this country that you have to pull yourself up by your bootstraps. And we all believe that. But, first you’ve got to have the boots”


Al Franken wasn’t really on my radar, politically, until after the 2016 election. I watched all the confirmation hearings, and of course anyone following politics will know Franken asked some pretty tough questions and caused quite a stir by asking what on the surface were pretty innocuous questions. He had done his homework, which is more than I could say about most participating in those proceedings. And...

I loved it!!

I knew Franken had been a writer for Saturday Night Live and had been elected to the senate, representing the state of Minnesota. But, since he does not represent my state, I never heard much about him or how he was doing in his job as senator.

But, once I saw him in action, I was very impressed and couldn’t wait to read more about his life.

Franken is naturally funny. He doesn’t have to work at it at all, coming up with hilarious quips right off the top of his head. However, in Washington, these folks are not exactly known for their sense of humor. Therefore, Al has had to tone down his humor in order to be taken seriously, to appease other members of his party, and of course to keep himself from saying something that might get him in hot water.

He does a great job of balancing his gregarious personality with the seriousness of his job, and frankly, it’s too bad, other members of Congress worry so much about making jokes or laughing at the absurdity of politics, or at their own party.

But, Franken is able to release a bit of his pent -up humor in this book, which detailed his very interesting journey into politics, the messiness of campaigning, raising money, mistakes he made, the challenges he faced, and his hopes for the future.

I was impressed by his sharpness, his work ethic, and how he plays the political game. It is obvious he and his wife have a strong relationship, and he enjoys his family, which was very refreshing.

Al will surprise you with how prepared he is, how serious he takes his responsibilities, his willingness to work with those on the other side of the aisle, his openness, and sense of fair play.

Al is a democrat through and through, but even if you are not, you have to love the dedication, the sincerity he exudes and believe me, with only one notable, (and spot on), exception, Al gets along, and is respectful to his Republican counterparts, working side by side with them to actually see results.

I thoroughly enjoyed Al’s humor, the glimpse into his personal life, looking back on some memorable SNL skits and personalities, and reading about Al’s tenuous political beginnings. His journey has been very interesting! Al has a larger than life persona and I believe his state is lucky to have them on their side.

This book also has some marvelous personal photographs, and his grandchildren are simply adorable!!
***********************************************************************************
I'm sure I'm not the only non American who has become obsessed with American politics over the last year or so. At first it was close to a prurient interest. As time goes by, it feels increasingly like what's happening in the US is relevant to my children's future environmental, economic and physical well being, so the interest feels more real and more personal. And I know I'm not alone...

So it's some comfort learn more about Al Franken -- to know that there are dedicated people willing to serve in public office with reason, compassion, common sense and the long view.

I listened to the audio, and it held my interest from beginning to end. I'm not sure there's any particular organizing principle to Franken's memoir. It is part personal history, part gossipy anecdote, part random thoughts about politics and life, and part pointed thoughts about politics and the future. It's not funny, but there's a lot of humour sprinkled throughout.

It left me thinking that Franken is someone worth watching. It left me thinking about the importance and meaning of public service. It left me thinking that it's important not to give in to an overwhelming sense of cynicism when thinking about contemporary politics. It reminded me to speak positively to my kids about the importance of political engagement.

I'm sure Franken has some flaws, but as you can see the audio of his book hit all the right notes for me and made me a true fan.
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Al Franken, Giant of the Senate by Al Franken is a book I was so ready to read and it did not disappoint. 
He started the book by going all the way back to his beginnings in comedy then on up to being a Senator. The reason for this was to show how hard it was to run for office after being a comedian and having every joke thrown in his face by both parties. This was an excellent book about how the inside of politics work and doesn't work. The inside of how corrupt some of these guys are. It told of Franken's tough times and his good times. You laugh with him and laugh at him. You laugh at the goofy politicians that think they are better than everyone else. The best chapter in the whole book is the one on Ted Cruz. Oh my gosh! Loved it. During the election, my family called Cruz the 'pedophile' because he looks like what we imagine a pedophile would look like. In Franken's book, he calls Cruz the 'pedophile' and I laughed so hard. Definitely worth the money and the time. Love his books anyway but this is just awesome.
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In the current political climate with congressional hearings, a special prosecutor, and a chief executive who demands fealty as if he were a "godfather" it was good to read a political manifesto in the form of biography that with drips with sarcasm and humor. 
When one thinks of Al Franken, Saturday Night Live (SNL) comes to mind, and the “serious” laughter his writings, i.e., RUSH LIMBAUGH IS A BIG FAT IDIOT, and appearances produced. His new autobiography is in the same vein as he uses his life story as a clarion call for a progressive agenda and a fight against alternative news and/or reality and the lies that are perpetrated regularly by certain politicians and supposed news outlets.

AL FRANKEN: GIANT OF THE SENATE describes the evolution of a belief system that began at an early age, particularly as a young teen reacting to Lyndon Johnson’s work to get the 1964 Civil Rights Act signed into law. From that point on we witness Franken’s intellectual growth using his comedic sense through high school, college, a career on SNL, and a second career in the United States Senate. As Franken matures emotionally and politically his commitment to a progressive agenda for the American people (as well as Minnesota!) emerges. But make no mistake for Franken to be successful he had to suppress his public humor to avoid political pitfalls

The key event in his career was the death of Minnesota Senator Paul Wellstone; his mentor, teacher, and intellectual role model. For Wellstone “politics was about improving people’s lives.” Franken presents a wonderful chapter encompassing Wellstone’s life’s work and positive goals for the American people. Franken explains the type of person he was and how he was influenced by his progressive agenda. Once Wellstone and his family are killed in a plane crash he was replaced in the Senate by Republican Norm Coleman who stated “I am a 99% improvement over Paul Wellstone.” For Al Franken it was “game on.” Franken believed in Wellstone’s core, that “we all do better, when we all do better,” a mantra that Franken has worked for since his time in the Senate.

Franken explores in detail his campaign against Norm Coleman. Faced with Republican obfuscation, distortion, and outright lies Franken was welcomed to the wonderful world of what he calls the “Dehumorizer,” or how his opponent would do or say anything about his opponent’s past and present be it fact or fiction, in the 2008 campaign, mostly fiction. Franken would defeat Coleman by 312 votes, but it took over eight months to finally join his Senate colleagues as Coleman’s team dragged the results through the courts and in the end never really conceded. Fast forward, eight years later Franken was elected by a 10% margin. It is interesting how the Obama people did little to assist Franken, no matter what he did even Democrats could not wrap their heads around a former SNL comic becoming a serious politician.

The most interesting aspects of Franken’s story rests on the legislative process which is bound in hyprocracy by both major parties, though perhaps a bit more by Republicans. He cites a number of examples dealing with the 2009 Stimulus package which finally passed despite Republican opposition which led to a slower recovery than was necessary. This allowed Kentucky Senator Mitch McConnell to blame the slow recovery on President Obama. This is the same Senator who stated once Obama was elected in 2009 that it was his primary purpose to make sure that the new president would not achieve any successes. It is also fascinating that certain congresspersons who voted against the stimulus took credit for it when it created benefits for their own districts.

Franken takes the reader behind the scenes as the Senate votes on legislation. In particular a “disclosure bill” designed to offset the Supreme Court decision in Citizens United. The cavalier attitude of a number of Republicans is offered in their own words, of course funded by the Koch Brothers and their “Federalist agenda.” Franken goes on to eviscerate Texas Senator Ted Cruz in a chapter entitled “Sophistry.” Franken is proud of the fact that he hates a colleague who in two short months managed to turn almost his entire party against him. As is Franken’s methodology throughout the book his comments are sardonic, humorous, and sarcastic, but below the surface the Senator from Minnesota is seething.

A major theme of the book is a clarion call for Democrats to turn out and remove Republicans from power. If it is not done soon, Franken argues President Trump will continue to dismantle the achievements that Obama was able to attain. Franken tries to be upbeat throughout as he rests on his comedic talent. But, after watching the Senate Intelligence Hearings and Trump’s response congressional hearings televised on what seems to be a daily basis, a special prosecutor, and a chief executive who demands fealty as if he was “the godfather” it was good to read an uplifting political manifesto in the form of a biography that the past few days we all must be careful because what we are witnessing cannot be good for our country, which seems to be what motivates Franken each day-what is good for our country.
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"I can't tell you I'll always get it right. But I'll tell you this: I'm going to keep fighting as hard as I can in the coming months and years to protect our children, our values and our future from Donald Trump." - Al Franken, from Al Franken, Giant of the Senate, by Al Franken.

This is absolutely the book America needs to read right now. I want to just acquire a crate full of copies of this book and pass it out to people. Franken manages to be both hopeful, realistic and funny all at the same time when writing about the inner-workings of the US government. It's amazing.

It is difficult for me to write an unbiased review of anything Franken has written - he has been a major influence in my life. Growing up, I watched Saturday Night Live reruns with my parents. I saw a lot of classic SNL - Gilda Radner, Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Jon Belushi, Steve Martin, Adam Sandler, Chris Farley, Molly Shannon, Dana Carvey, Phil Hartman, Kevin Nealon, Will Farrell, Tina Fay...wow, I just started naming SNL people off the top of my head and just kept going, there. But yes, and, of course, Al Franken.

I can't even begin to describe how much of an influence Lies and the Lying Liars that Tell Them was on my political development. I borrowed the book from my dad because a) it looked funny and it was by a guy I knew to be funny and b) the title. Seriously, how could you not read a book called Lies and the Lying Liars That Tell Them? As I made my way through the book it was like a veil was being ripped away from my eyes. I suddenly became interested in the political. I suddenly started watching the news and actually paying attention to what they were saying. I started reading the newspaper and Newsweek - the actual content, not just looking at the pictures and reading movie reviews. I got really into this TV series called The Daily Show. I started noticing the every day hypocrisies in my rural hometown. I started questioning the official narratives we were fed every day. I started questioning the narrative I was fed in Lies, and started fact-checking the claims within the book myself. This, incidentally, is how librarians are created, children.

Lies woke me up and shoved me into politics. My terrible hometown, Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, Dan Rather and my local library did the rest.

Al Franken: he's good enough, smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like him! Especially me.

I was naught but a wee little teenage girl in one of the reddest counties of my traditionally blue state. In 2004, there was not much I could do politically, except go to a Kerry rally and then be sad when he lost. And be horrified at how happy my oblivious classmates were that Bush had been reelected. Really, guys?

Anyway! This brings me, finally, to Al Franken: Giant of the Senate.

When I heard Franken was running for Senate in Minnesota I thought "hell yeah!" And then proceeded to stop caring because a) college and b) I do not now, nor have I ever, lived in Minnesota. I was too busy paying attention to local news, getting kicked out of my room by my evil freshman roommates, and worrying about whether or not the economy was going to get so bad that my parents would lose their jobs and I'd have to withdraw from college and go straight to work. And, if that happened, would there even be any jobs left for me? Ah, 2008. What a crap year. Anyway, I squeaked through 2008 and didn't have to leave school, and next I heard, Al Franken won! Yes! Awesome! I immediately stopped paying attention. Then I heard there was a recount? Oh no, how dare they try and steal Al's victory from him! ...and then I stopped paying attention because school. I was glad when I finally heard that Al got his seat in the senate, but I didn't pay too much attention because a) not from Minnesota and b) college. What does this have to do with the book? Well, the book covers pretty much everything that I missed - why he decided to run for senate, what the campaign was like, and just how difficult it is for a comedian to adjust from being a professional funnyman to a superserious political-type. No eye rolling during terrible speeches. No snarky comments during a hearing.

This book is for everyone - it's for anyone who is frustrated at the gridlock in Washington, who is sick of partisan malarkey, or who have lost faith in our democratic process. It is for anyone who watched the disaster that was 2016 unfold with tears in their eyes. It's for anyone who has ceased to see their representatives as human beings and more like soulless ghouls who feed on campaign donations.

The best thing about this book is how Franken portrays his colleagues across the aisle not as demons, but as people making decisions he disagrees with (and think are evil). The sight of certain Republicans makes my blood boil, but Giant of the Senate reminded me that, as much as I dislike them, they're still people, and we need to work together if we're going to help everyone. At the same time, though, he fights for truth in politics:

"[I]f we don't start caring about whether people tell the truth or not, it's going to be literally impossible to restore anything approaching a reasonable political discourse. Politicians have always shaded the truth. But if you can say something that is provably false, and no one cares, then you can't have a real debate about anything."

Amen, Al.

Thank you, Al Franken. Don't ever stop fighting for the people, for our country and don't ever stop being funny, even if you have to wait five years and put it all in book form. And don't ever stop telling stories about how awful Ted Cruz is, I could read those all day. Like, in book form. Nudge nudge.
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I thought Al Franken was funny on Saturday Night Live (“When you point your finger at someone else, you point three fingers back at yourself. And your thumb at God, I guess”), but as far as I’m concerned his work as a pundit is where he’s really distinguished himself—both as host of his own radio show on Air America and as the author of Rush Limbaugh Is a Big Fat Idiot, Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them, and The Truth (With Jokes) (all of which are excellent and worth your time). Reading and/or listening to Franken for any length of time makes it pretty obvious that he’s a person who values honesty and accuracy, and he’s clearly carried this quality into his work as a senator.

Franken is a very good, very funny writer, and you could absolutely do worse than getting your facts from him. (Back when Republicans wanted to privatize Social Security to “keep it from going bankrupt,” for instance, it was Al Franken who did the math that convinced me that Social Security was in fact in no danger of going bankrupt, and I’m quite comfortable having him as my source.) Giant of the Senate is more of a straightforward memoir than any of his previous books, and all of it was interesting—the parts about his childhood, the chapters about SNL, etc.—but nothing was more fascinating than when he decided to enter politics. The chapters recounting his first campaign, the recount, and his time in the Senate were completely riveting to me, in addition to providing a lot of valuable info about how Washington actually works. In this age of Trump, a lot of us are spending at least a little time trying to influence our elected officials, and if you’re looking for an overview of the whole situation, again, you could do much worse than reading Al Franken.

A lot of politicians “write books” while they’re in office, or running for office, and these are mainly just boring PR tools ghostwritten by someone else, but that’s not the case with Giant of the Senate. For one thing, Al Franken wrote this himself, as he’s done with all of his books. For another, this book is totally honest, contains a fair amount of cursing, and pulls no punches when it comes to Trump or (most hilariously and informatively, in my opinion) Ted Cruz. The book also talks a lot about the art of and necessity for compromise. Franken is realistic about this as well—he knows that compromise is sometimes frustrating, but he also knows it’s the only way to make things happen. He quotes Barney Frank: “The only person I’ve ever voted for who I’ve agreed with one hundred percent is myself. The first time.” But ultimately Franken’s stories of reaching across the aisle are more encouraging than dispiriting. I’ve heard he doesn’t plan to run again in 2020, so here’s hoping he goes for broke in the time he has left in office. We need more elected officials like him.
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I wish all politicians had the same dedication and loyalty to their constituents as Senator Al Franken. I've always liked him, whether on SNL in the 70s or more recently grilling Trump's unorthodox cabinet nominees. He is not supposed to be funny or swear now that he is in the Senate, but I would say he just can't help it. So many examples given of what he was aching to say at certain times, things he was sure would have just killed. He restrained himself then, but shared the lost opportunities in the book. Laugh out loud funny.

He is what he is. Since he joined the Senate rather late in life, he isn't a career politician and actually cares more for the people who elected him than he does about the politics. He cares more about providing people with health care than about getting re-elected or any sidestepping agendas like keeping the Koch brothers happy. And most of all he cares about the truth -- you lie and he'll call you out, show the evidence of it being a lie, and will probably write a book about what a lying liar you are (I'm talking to you, Ann Coulter, Rush Limbaugh, and Bill O'Reilly). And to our Liar in Chief, to whom the last chapters were devoted. (Al's worried but also optimistic. I'm just worried.)
Source: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/31933250-al-franken-giant-of-the-senate

You Can't Touch My Hair- And Other Things I Still Have to Explain by Phoebe Robinson

You Can't Touch My Hair- And Other Things I Still Have to Explain by Phoebe Robinson


3.89  ·  Rating details ·  7,372 Ratings  ·  1,063 Reviews
You Can't Touch My Hair- And Other Things I Still Have to Explain by Phoebe Robinson DOWNLOAD OR READ IT ONLINE FOR FREE
You Can't Touch My Hair- And Other Things
I Still Have to Explain by Phoebe Robinson
A hilarious and affecting essay collection about race, gender, and pop culture from celebrated stand-up comedian and WNYC podcaster Phoebe Robinson.

Phoebe Robinson is a stand-up comic, which means that, often, her everyday experiences become points of comedic fodder. And as a black woman in America, she maintains, sometimes you need to have a sense of humor to deal with the absurdity you are handed on the daily. Robinson has experienced her fair share over the years: she's been unceremoniously relegated to the role of "the black friend," as if she is somehow the authority on all things racial; she's been questioned about her love of U2 and Billy Joel ("isn t that . . . white people music?"); she's been called "uppity" for having an opinion in the workplace; she's been followed around stores by security guards; and yes, people do ask her whether they can touch her hair all. the. time. Now, she's ready to take these topics to the page and she s going to make you laugh as she s doing it.

Using her trademark wit alongside pop-culture references galore, Robinson explores everything from why Lisa Bonet is "Queen. Bae. Jesus," to breaking down the terrible nature of casting calls, to giving her less-than-traditional advice to the future female president, and demanding that the NFL clean up its act, all told in the same conversational voice that launched her podcast, "2 Dope Queens," to the top spot on iTunes. As personal as it is political, "You Can't Touch My Hair" examines our cultural climate and skewers our biases with humor and heart, announcing Robinson as a writer on the rise."


Reviews


I was inspired to read You Can't Touch My Hair at GR friend Taryn's suggestion as a counterpoint to Jodie Picoult's portrayal of Ruth in Great Small Things. 
I didn't know anything about Phoebe Robinson -- who I now know is a young writer, feminist, actor and comic -- but I'm glad I read her book of personal essays. She writes about her views and experiences of being an African American woman -- she writes about experiences as a student, in casting calls, on the set, shopping, dealing with her hair and much more. She doesn't purport to speak on behalf of all African American women, but to the extent that she sheds some light on the experience of living in the shadow of mainstream expectations and stereotypes, her anecdotes and observations go well beyond the personal. She has a great narrative style -- she's funny but direct and unapologetic. Robinson's book is a timely and compelling counterpoint to the ugly morass into which current American politics have descended. I suspect that the audio version of her book would be even better because there's a lovely spoken quality to her writing.

I just read Amy Schumer's GIRL WITH THE LOWER BACK TATTOO, and if you follow me, you'll remember that I had some complaints. Mainly that comedians, for whatever reason, write unfunny memoirs that are either a) self-promotional, b) long, shopping lists of gratitude, or c) boring & dry. It's like they have to prove a point - that they're not just the funny man or woman, they can be serious, just you watch. But...that's not why people are going to buy your memoirs. It's not why I buy your memoirs.



Phoebe Robinson's memoir is not like that at all. It opens with the history and the politics of "natural" hair and why it's rude to ask to touch it. Robinson discusses how different hairstyles can make a statement if you're a woman of color, the hours and effort that go into maintaining natural hair, and the frustration she and other women feel when they are othered based on their appearance.



After this, as a bit of a wind down, she discusses some of the famous (black) celebrities who contributed to the pop cultural lexicon of black hairstyles. This section includes pictures and commentary, and I really enjoyed seeing the evolving looks.



The middle section is a bit about Phoebe herself, and some of the things she loves, as a sort of belated meet-cute before she gets into the heavy stuff. Try not falling for this woman, I dare you. She's so charming, and funny, and self-effacing. She drops pop culture references and slang like a pro, and her voice is so strong that you really get the feeling that you're having a dialogue with her - right now.It can be surprisingly difficult to capture a "voice" on paper, and she does it really, really well.



After the meet-cute, Phoebe gets into the Deep Stuff. Race. Stereotypes. Bigotry. Guilt. Othering. Coded language. Privilege. The stuff that will send a small population running for the hills (or their laptops), screaming about rabid SJWs. But Phoebe discusses these topics in a really great way, supporting her points with examples that help give you an idea of what she feels and why when people use insensitive words like "exotic", "urban", or "uppity", or why she got so angry when a woman burst into tears after Phoebe was forced to read aloud and then later criticized her offensive lesbian master/slave love story and claimed that she - a white college student - felt "picked on."



Riiiiiiiight.



Phoebe gets right to the point. Even now, decades after the civil rights movement and about a century after the end of slavery, we are still pretty damn discriminatory as a society. And discrimination doesn't have to be overt. You don't have to say the N-word to discriminate. Discrimination can be as implicit as designing camera film for white skin, treating your black friend like they're the ambassador for all people of color, or only carrying lighter shades of foundation at a drug store. Buzzfeed did a few role reversal videos (1, 2) that help illustrate what things look like from the outside the privilege zone, but the fact that it feels so ridiculous just goes to show how heavily integrated such stereotypes are within the structure of society, and why we still need change.

The book ends with Phoebe writing a series of letters to her young niece about what it means to be black, biracial, and a woman, and the importance of being an authentic, compassionate individual who is open to new experiences but also not afraid to stand up for her principles. She brings up some more great points, too, but after the previous section, it feels a bit anticlimactic. I can see why Phoebe chose to end her book this way, though. You don't want to leave your readers on a note of moral outrage (for better, or for worse), and it helps bring the memoir full circle, as Phoebe starts out talking about the politics of the parts of the individual, and ends with the politics of the whole article.

This is probably one of my top 5 favorite female memoirs, ranking right up there with Felicia Day's YOU'RE NEVER WEIRD ON THE INTERNET and Tina Fey's BOSSYPANTS. It made me cry out, "I relate to that!" "I am interested in that!" "I am outraged by that!" and "I want to be your friend!" by turns. I love memoirs that are passionate, and political, and energized, and this book was all of those things. It was also thought-provoking, and honest in a way that a lot of memoirs these days aren't (I think you've probably heard me complain that too many celebrity memoirs are too "nice"; nice is nice, but it isn't controversial and it doesn't make a statement and it doesn't get you talking, either).

I loved that. And I love Phoebe. (And now I'm off to check out her comedy and stalk her on Twitter.)

We may not be in a post racial society but I tell you what: when funky, funny Phoebe can tell us what white people do that makes her crazy, and why she doesn’t want to be anybody’s token black friend, I think we’ve moved the needle since the last century. I remember the first time an African man told me that the only pictures he’d had taken in his years of graduate school were those taken by a Singaporean man who knew how to get the camera to register his skin color and expression. Robinson says something similar here: maybe it’s best if we first acknowledge a color difference before we declare it doesn’t matter.

Robinson does plenty of things in this “breakout book deal” but the thing that drew me in was the chance to learn, unfiltered, how black women had such dope-fantastic hair while white folk have to make do with boring thin stuff that flies away and looks pretty much the same everyday, no matter what we do to it. I first learned a little about the time and energy and money serious black hair coiffeurs require in Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s novel Americanah, but now I think I get it. And no, I don’t think anyone should have to do this so that other folks will love them more. It is, however, an art form, another art form that black folk have created, perfected, and strutted.

Shonda Rhimes, in her book Year of Yes, tells us as a teen she tried to get her hair looking like Diana Ross every morning before classes. Oh girl…I did the same thing with some magazine model or other whose look was so far from mine that a million years of evolution wouldn’t have changed that difference between us. It is definitely not worth the effort. And the “creamy crack” or “crack cream” (break me up, girl!) sounds positively dangerous. Forget it immediately. Get a wig if you want to toss straight hair so much and definitely don’t subject yourself to chemical burns. Come on. If that is what’s required, f- them. I wouldn’t do it. Who the heck is calling the shots here?

When Robinson describes a bedroom scene where the woman is wearing an elastic do-rag to protect her afro and she insists that a real man would still get a boner regardless, I laughed all right. But then it occurred to me that is the definition of drop-dead sexy: strong and sexy, when black womanhood doesn’t even need to fling her hair around to get to home base. She commands the stage. I’m impressed. Personally, I’d kill for the simplicity of a close crop and call it quits. But I ain’t no Phoebe Robinson.

Jessica Williams, Phoebe’s “werk wife,” writes the introduction to this book. Williams was a writer/correspondent on The Daily Show and now the two perform standup at various locations in Brooklyn and work a podcast (WYNC) called 2 Dope Queens. Robinson had a vision of where she wanted to go and to that end began a blog called Blaria in 2014. When the Robinson and Williams standup routine started to take off, a new piece in the NYT tried to keep track. Robinson also has a talk-show style podcast she started last year called Sooo Many White Guys. She's angling for Oprah's job, and I think she's becoming a worthy successor. She certainly has drive.

If the material is sometimes juvenile, well, juvenile can be funny. There is one thing that may eventually limit the range of the women, though: all their references for jokes relate to TV or movies. When it works, it’s very good indeed, but not everyone is so deep into popular culture, or have looked at it with such seriousness and depth of understanding. It is fascinating to watch Robinson deconstruct an old movie like a college professor does a piece of literature, but then our mind starts thinking…what else can this woman do that would be—less fun, maybe—but more important?

Then I remember what she is doing, desensitizing race relations, telling white folk what bothers black folk, sharing some intimacies and some vulnerabilities, and I realize she is doing exactly what she needs to be doing right now, and she is doing it funny, she is doing it sexy, she is doing it in braids, in long soft curls, in dreads, and in a bust-'em afro. She’s strong, she’s sexy, she’s outspoken, and she’s unstoppable now. I’m a fan.

I have loaded a 2 Dope Queens holiday video podcast on my blog for you to see what you’re missing.

Phoebe Robinson's delivers more laughs per page than any other book of essays by a female comedian in recent memory. (Yes, I'm including Tina Fey. And Amy Poehler.) Not only that, she dispenses wisdom and tackles issues that go beyond the typical "being-a-woman-in-comedy-is-hard" thing a lot of these books do.

You know how sometimes you're reading the new Mindy Kaling book and she'll start talking about the realities of being a woman of color in entertainment and you think she's just about to start going for it and then she starts talking about zits or B. J. Novak or some other thing and never really goes there? Phoebe Robinson goes there. This book is about those realities, and yet it is so constantly hilarious that it's hard to figure out how she does it. She talks about microaggressions and then she's ranking the members of U2 based on bone-ability. This tightrope walk defines the whole book and it's pretty masterful.

Often with this kind of book that's kind of a mix between essay and memoir there will be the occasional weak section or the short, fluffy chapters thrown in so it doesn't look to short. But not this one. Every chapter felt solid and consistent and you could read for a long stretch or a little bit and feel really good about it.

If you're a fan of the 2 Dope Queens podcast, this book is probably already high up on your list. It will only confirm that Phoebe is even funnier than you thought she was.